I don't know how to be sad

SEE UPDATE BELOW!

Obviously I am not very creative when it comes to making up post titles. So, live with it.

Now moving on to the topic. I, like everyone else, can go through quite the emotional roller coaster. In fact, within 10 minutes I can go through a whole spectrum of emotions. The only problem is, I don't show emotions well. More specifically, I don't show sad emotions very well. I deal with sad events better than most people I know, but I do it on my own terms, and on my own. I do not seek comfort from others, and I wouldn't know what to if someone tried to offer me what they think is comforting. I don't work that way. I wasn't programmed that way. Since I was a kids, I never wanted to cry in front of people, so I ended up crying to sleep in the solitary of my own room. I bet my mom thought all those stains were drool.

As I get older, I understand with more clarity where this comes from: my father. I respect him for it, and I'm glad I am this way. The problem is we're often misunderstood to be heartless and lacking in the emotions department. And that cannot be further from the truth. But at least speaking for myself, I like being the strong one who can keep it together. Whether people like it or not, that is not my problem.

Recently though, I have had some stuff happen in the family. Just like my father, I don't go around telling people about them, and I certainly don't want people's sympathy. I especially don't want the generic over-the-counter sympathy wishes. I don't know why people think that empty rosy words would bring comfort to anyone. By the same token, when things happen to people, I don't know what to say, and in fact, I don't want to say anything. I comfort people in a completely different way, making them laugh. Because when I'm down, the last thing I want people to do is pretend they're sad about things they're not associated with. I want people to make me laugh. SO, next time someone else tells you something about me that makes you want to hug me and cause me great discomfort in trying to escape your arms, just save time and make a joke. I have no problems laughing, it comes easily to me. In fact, I have many a times laughed when it was inappropriate, and I am totally OK with that.

But you have to remember, not only will I not cry in your arms, please don't come crying to me, unless you're prepared to be greeted with a very uncomfortable "there there" or me making a joke. Cry all you want, but I am not Dr. Phil, and I can't give you unsolicited life advice. I'll probably say to you what my dad always says about situations like this: "life goes on, and yours will have to go on too." I would add to that a sprinkle of "appreciate the good times and keep in mind the fun times of any bad experience." But most likely I'll just tell an inappropriate joke! Can you handle that? I hope you can, because "sad" is a very foreign state for me...

UPDATE:
I think I was either misunderstood or I really suck at communicating with my readers. I am not sad about anything, nor are horrible things happening in my life. I was just merely writing that I don't do sad! And when shit happens, I don't seek consolation from anyone. Being down makes me feel uncomfortable, whether it's me or someone else. And I deal with it by making jokes. There are things that I cannot control, and while most people will be really upset by them, I just learn to live with them and accept them. I am not a very emotional person, and I think that sometimes comes across as being cold-hearted. I know I said "recently," but really, with a big family like mine, there's always something nuts going on. I promise, I don't need a hug and I don't share. This is exactly what I'm talking about, if I don't share, then don't worry about it. If Bob comes up to you and says that such and such happened to KULA, don't come and say something to me when I never said anything about it to you. If I have something to say, I will say it when I want to. But regardless, I was trying to make a general statement about how I do things.

Here's a related story that may put this whole thing into perspective. Someone I know told me that his mother has a terminal illness, and that he is really bummed by that, and understandably so. She is young, and should have many many more years to see her son get married, have kids, etc. The truth of the matter however is that she has a terminal disease. He expressed his sadness and how low he was feeling and how he couldn't continue with his life as if nothing was wrong.

At this point, most people, either fake or actually honestly embrace the person, make a sad face, and say "SORRY TO HEAR THAT." Or maybe reach out and give the person a hug, or console him or her with, what I consider, empty words that don't do anyone a favor. I, on the other hand, reacted this way and said: "I am sorry that this is happening to your family, and it is understandable that you would be sad, but I don't think getting down on yourself is going to do anyone involved a favor. I think you should continue your life like you did before. Your mother, while may be sick, is still alive, and I think it would give her more strength if you didn't treat her like she's sick. There have been studies that show that a healthy loving family can prolong a person's life, if anything, it can make the rest of their lives however long or short a happy time. What you need to do now is to be there for your mother, and love her like you always did, and don't ever make her feel like she has a terminal disease. I think that what she needs right now." Of course I got barked at and told that I wouldn't understand because I'm not losing my mother. But you know what? If I had to go through that situation again, I would do it exactly the same. I can't sit here and mope with you, when there are a lot of people who can do that.

I think I am being a good friend when I say what I think makes more sense. And I have known people with terminal diseases. Do you think that they don't know what's happening to them? You think you're suffering more than them? NO! I personally think anyone who cries and mopes around and reacts in a morbid manner like that is actually selfish. But that's my opinion, and then again, I can't do that whole sad thing. I provide support by providing what I consider a realistic perspective. I would never mention death around anyone going through that, because I don't need to. It's hovering around anyway. So what point that out by holding and crying and saying empty words? But different people act differently.

As for now and for me, I am as happy as a clam! Which begs the question, exactly how happy are clams?