What I really want right now!

- Corn pops - the cute neighbor promised he would get me some. He forgot. Bastard!

- A functioning unclogged nostril. Just one would suffice. My lips are too dry, and I hate breathing through my mouth. Playing soccer tomorrow night is going to suck.

- The ability to tap dance. Hey, it's my wish list, I can put this here if I so want.

- A smooth condo search that won't waste too much of my time. But my realtor already indicated that with all my "requirements" things will be crazy. I've already expanded my price range to stay in a nicer area instead of moving the search to a less desired area a little farther away from my work. Screw it, if I'm spending the money, I'll spend a little more and stay where I'm happiest!

- Actually, falling asleep would be really awesome right now too! But corn pops would be grand too!

Why French kids are mostly not overweight

This is just my guess, but here are a few reasons I think French kids, and possibly French people are generally not overweight, and this is generally true for most of Europe:

- While the food is rich, the quantity is little and reasonable, not only in restaurants, but also at home, at the dinner table - they don't have a need to have a meal that can feed a Catholic family served to one person
- They walk and bike a lot more
- There aren't nearly as many commercials for junk food, and when they're on, at least in France, they put scrolling text under the commercial that says "for good health, avoid eating junk food between meals" - ah, the magic of POSITIVE subliminal messages
- Pop and most sugary drinks are expensive - OK, I hate this a little bit, but then again, they can't make regular Coke expensive and diet Coke cheaper, or can they?
- Kids, well, at least my little French cousins, are good, and when their parents aren't at home, they don't raid the cabinet that has the cookies adn chocolate in it, but this has more to do with the parenting than the nationality
- It probably helps that fruits and vegetables actually have a real taste here, and are not completely grown in green houses with a lot of chemicals, which makes them more appealing to children - I have witnessed a child actually picking strawberries for dessert over cake - un-freaking-believable!

More deep thoughts

Well, unlike most people, I love France and I love the French. At least they are predictable. Once you know how to deal with them, and know what to expect from them, you know and that's that. And heck, knowing the language helps a lot. When I say I don't know German, I really DO NOT KNOW GERMAN! To me, people can be completely making up the "German" words they're saying. In French, while I don't understand everything, there are so many familiar words and I am capable of some communication, like when I order something on the menu, I know mostly what will be on my plate, and I won't be surprised with a cow's head. Of course, that's the problem, I enjoy most German food too, but I'd love to know what's in it without asking for the English menu like a dumb tourist.

HOWEVER, despite my love for France and the French, watching French TV movies is like watching a bad porn. You know the porn you're watching is bad when you start concentrating on the plot, i.e., being distracted from the main purpose of the movie. So basically, the nakedness starts annoying you and you find yourself looking forward to the end of a sex scene so that you can get back to the plot. Well, some French TV movies make you sit there and look at the characters talk and interact, and you can mute the movie and still enjoy it the same. In fact, actually listening to the dialogues and the bad acting make you want to pull your nails out from their roots with rusted pliers to ease the pain of the badness of the movie!

Quick list of the past couple of days

- Bruges was great. I climbed 366 steps to get to the top of its Bell Tower, took a look around of the panoramic view of the town, took a few pictures and climbed back down stairs. I can't believe I paid 5 euros to do that. Next time, I'm going to ask them to pay me money to walk up there and smell the way I smelled at the end of the day!

- OK, I won't be eating mussels for a while. In the two days I was in Belgium, I think I ate my weight in mussels, and it was worth it, but it will be a while before I eat more again. And anyway, after eating mussels in Belgium, I don't think it will be even worth it to eat them anywhere else.

- Between Dutch and French, the latter sounds so much better, and it helps when I understand so much more French than Dutch. I did learn how to say "Do you speak English?" in Dutch though, but I haven't used it yet, because it's much easier to ask people that in English. Hey, Dutch speaking people understand more English than the French, and they're less snooty about it. I don't know, maybe they're people of less pride. Whatever works for me :)

- Speaking of which, I have to apologize to the Dutch people, because I do have to say: the Dutch language is not pretty... no, no, Dutch is an ugly language! Ich bleech fluech... Sounds just as bad as German, but I can actually tell the difference. For example, that made up sentence would be: "fliech bliech icht" in German. I kid, I kid!

- I made myself go to the Ann Frank museum, because "everyone who goes to Amsterdam, must go there." I couldn't make myself go in. I'm sorry, but I don't care much for that story. There are a lot of sad stories like that, and I can't favor one over the others. I know this will be a controversial statement, but I think kids who actually died from being executed by the Nazis are more worthy of my sympathy. After all, she died from an illness. I also have problems with all the Holocaust stories being about Jewish people. I have no problems with Jewish people, but there are many other millions and millions of people who being executed and they weren't Jewish, I'm sure their stories were just as sad, but who wants to hear about little Christian kids who were killed by the Nazis? That doesn't sell! Yes, it doesn't sell, as evidenced by the fact that the Ann Frank museum is the only one that won't accept my museum pass. Screw that!
I warn you before you make any statements where I come from, and remember how many Arabic children die or have died by Israeli bullets. Oh wait, you may not know, because the media doesn't shove it down your throat.

- By the way, I'm watching some TV in my hotel room in Amsterdam, and there are a ton of shows and ads in English, and they don't bleep the N-word. Holy crap! My jaw nearly dropped the first time I heard that.

- It is so nice to hear church bells everywhere. I miss that. I'm not religious, but church bells in the US don't chime as much anymore. So unfortunate and sad. Apparently they offend some people from other religions. So basically, if their religion houses don't have bells to chime, no one else's can. Boooo!

- One of the guide books was very right: "sometimes looking at some guys may be considered flirting. This is especially true with Mediterranean men." Boy is that true! It is especially true with the short, ugly, hairy ones!

- Some cab driver asked me where I was from and when I told him "Chicago" he asked me what it was like living in the danger capital of the world. Not in those exact words, but he basically asked me how I have survived this long without being shot. I tried to convince him that not all Chicago is dangerous and that maybe he shouldn't form an opinion until he had a chance to visit. He didn't seem very convinced, but maybe Chicago is very dangerous, like where I live, I can be attacked by a bunch of yuppies and the most dangerous tool they know how to use: tweezers!

Enough of blogging. I'm on vacation damn it!

Blue cheese smells better

I have been on this schedule of not leaving the apartment and therefore, making taking a shower very VERY optional. I was about to throw the toy away to play fetch with my cat, and I got a whiff of air that went by my armpit. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Let's just say IT STUNK. Let's just say it got me thinking about the last time I took a shower, and I couldn't remember. Two days ago? Three days ago? I don't know. But quite possibly it's the reason the cat has been more willing to sit on the other couch than on this one. I think that one time last summer, on a hot humid day in July, when I played three one-hour soccer games in a row, I smelled better.

The worst part, if there can be such room for comparison and levels of badness, is that after taking the first whiff, I lifted my arm, and smelled it again, and again, and again. Like I needed that reassurance of stinkiness. Like if I kept on doing it, the smell was going to go away. It's like when you were a kid, and that one weird kid would come in and say "Oh my God, this smells so bad, here smell it!" And you smelled it. And withdrew thinking to yourself "holy shit, it does smell bad. Wait, let me smell it again just to verify that it does indeed smell as bad as I thought it did the first time I smelled it after you ran in here telling me how bad it smells."

I have sweat before, badly, after long workouts in the summer, but I have never smelled anything like this. But, I swear, I can almost say that it smelled like Chinese food. Oh wait, maybe IT IS Chinese food. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that lunch and dinner for the past 7 days have been Chinese food. Maybe, after all this is over, it's going to be a LOOOONG while before China Kitchen gets another call from me.

Time for a shower!

Things for which to be thankful

Every year for Thanksgiving we have family over our house and do the whole stuffing our faces thing. It's always fun. I help my parents run around and get everything together before people get over, and we always end up with food that could feed an army. But hey, I'm not going to complain. I always took a lot of leftovers with me back to college and now back to my place. I love leftovers. I'm all about leftovers. But after that whole "I can't believe I ate that much" feeling subsides, I always think about how in the rush of things I forgot to think about all the things for which I'm thankful. I always promise to take a moment the following year and be thankful to get that fulfilling feeling of joy and maybe eat less. That's a huge maybe.

But here are a few other things I'm thankful for:

1) Post-it notes - I can't live without them, they're on my mirror, all around my computer and all over my desks at home and work - they complete me

2) The weather channel - it's amazing, they tell you what the weather is going to be like and you can get ready accordingly, they're mostly off, but eh, it's cool - Local on the 8s

3) Direct deposit - imagine how much time you save when you don't have to go and deposit your check in the bank, and it's cool when you check your account and there's that much more in it - yes, I'm easily amused

4) Twist-it eye liner - forget those eyeliner sharpeners, they never work that well anyway, the eyeliner loses sharpness after one use, and the soft black center gets stuck on the blade of the sharpener - twist it and go on

5) Gift registries - long are gone the days of filling your house with other people's taste, and seriously, I don't like thinking about what to get people, so everyone should do it, except that one chick for whose bridal shower registered for underwear, jeans, and lipstick (I'm not joking!)

6) The snooze button - if you know me, you know I am a snoozer, I once snoozed for three hours, I'm addicted - the snooze button also completes me!

7) Twinkies - they're the ultimate American snack, they define us, and they last forever, you can leave then on the shelf for ages, and still be able to eat them, they will survive a nuclear holocaust - mmmm, artificial spongy god-knows what's in them suppository-shaped "pastry"

8) Cheesy 80s movies - seriously, they're the ultimate girls get togethers entertainments, and I don't know about you, but most of my friends remember when those movies came out, and when you watch them you have hours and hours of amusement - not a dull moment wit 80s movies, back in the 80s, now, or when we're in our 80s

9) Jack Daniels - all those times I had to go to football games and it was really cold and no coat or sweatshirt could keep me warm, Jack did, and even when I put it in my half bottle of diet coke and snuck it into Wrigley then chugged it when my friends convinced me that the security people were going to take it from me if I didn't finish it before the 4th inning, it made me happy, REALLY HAPPY - Jack also completes me...

10) Blogs - if it weren't for blogs, what would I do with all the extra time I saved because of direct deposit - thank you blogs!