Blue cheese smells better

I have been on this schedule of not leaving the apartment and therefore, making taking a shower very VERY optional. I was about to throw the toy away to play fetch with my cat, and I got a whiff of air that went by my armpit. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Let's just say IT STUNK. Let's just say it got me thinking about the last time I took a shower, and I couldn't remember. Two days ago? Three days ago? I don't know. But quite possibly it's the reason the cat has been more willing to sit on the other couch than on this one. I think that one time last summer, on a hot humid day in July, when I played three one-hour soccer games in a row, I smelled better.

The worst part, if there can be such room for comparison and levels of badness, is that after taking the first whiff, I lifted my arm, and smelled it again, and again, and again. Like I needed that reassurance of stinkiness. Like if I kept on doing it, the smell was going to go away. It's like when you were a kid, and that one weird kid would come in and say "Oh my God, this smells so bad, here smell it!" And you smelled it. And withdrew thinking to yourself "holy shit, it does smell bad. Wait, let me smell it again just to verify that it does indeed smell as bad as I thought it did the first time I smelled it after you ran in here telling me how bad it smells."

I have sweat before, badly, after long workouts in the summer, but I have never smelled anything like this. But, I swear, I can almost say that it smelled like Chinese food. Oh wait, maybe IT IS Chinese food. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that lunch and dinner for the past 7 days have been Chinese food. Maybe, after all this is over, it's going to be a LOOOONG while before China Kitchen gets another call from me.

Time for a shower!

Time, that's all I need

The lamp in my bedroom has been broken for over a month. I have limited usage of my bedroom to only sleep, which really is all that a bedroom's pupose is. Trust me, other things that may be traditionally deemed to be bedroom activities, may be moved to the living room. Dirty bastards, I am talking about getting dressed, yeah, yeah, getting dressed.

But I used to enjoy reading before going to bed, something that is impossible to do after midnight without a functioning lamp. I would have attempted to fix the lamp, seeing as I have already gone out of my way and caused myself much inconvenience by trying to replace the bulb only to discover that it's not the problem. Said lamp was of course something I purchased while I was in college, i.e., at least 4 years ago. I'm pretty sure I bought it while still in undergrad and not grad school, i.e, at least 5.5 years ago. Well, I would care to go buy another one, if this were the good old days when I cared about such things as taking a shower everyday, or using deodorant. Aren't you sad you're not here with me?

I think it's time I say goodbye to the good old lamp that at a young age, while functional managed to kill and collect quite the impressive amount of dead bugs. In fact, every once in a while when I listened really hard, I could hear the little buggers get zapped. Genocide, right there, in my bedroom. How cool is that? Actually, it was quite dramatic. Sometimes, if I sit really still in the dark, waiting to fall asleep, I could still hear the bugs scream "EEEEEEEEEEEP" as they meet their death, being zapped by a bulb with at least double the allowable wattage. Hey, I need the light! Yes, there's a little trace of guilt that lingers in my heart when I think about the little bugs, growing up without their mommy or daddy bug because someone decided that a bedroom needed a halogen light, instead of a good old little lamp on the night stand. Oh well! Life goes on. Well, except for the dead bugs!