Band-Aid and Fireworks

Sometimes you have a band-aid on, and you know that to make things better you have to rip it off. If you leave it on, it may feel OK for now, but eventually the wound underneath may rot and you may end up having to amputate a limb, so you decide that, YES, it is better to take it off. You may think about taking it off slowly to cause less pain, but in reality that only prolongs the pain. So you decide to rip it off, and you know that there's a chance that there will be more pain and damage if you rip it off, but then again, there's a chance that ripping it off will cause extreme momentary pain, but in the long run the wound will heal faster and things will be back to wonderful. And even if ripping it off causes more permanent damage, and a scar will remain there as a sad reminder, but at least you'll still have your limb, albeit scarred forever!

Wow, that was way too much of a philosophical crap! I'll just add that I think fireworks are overrated, and adults who go to see fireworks when they don't have children, are in need of much help. As a child I used to be amused by fireworks for no more than 5 minutes, because at the end, they're all really the same. But seriously, to be an adult and voluntarily go to overcrowded areas to look at fireworks is just wrong. While all the nuts, especially those from the suburbs (fucking suburbanites!), were squeezed together and OOHing and AAHing over some ridiculous display of glorified fire crackers, I was sitting comfortably in a backyard with a few close friends, enjoying good food, and a wonderful conversation, while everyone was within a comfortable non-intruding distance from the others. We even had our own sparklers.

More thoughts about life

I lead my life a certain way, and while I don't think that others should lead their lives the way I do mine, I do have opinions about the way people do certain things. If you don't have opinions about other people and their doings, I truly believe there is something wrong with you. Minding your own business means not telling people what they don't ask you to hear. But when people ask, give it to them. Otherwise, feel free to form your own opinion. Well, here are a few of mine about friendships and marriage.

I personally think it's better to have fewer good friends, than a lot of acquaintances. I hate being taken for granted by my friends. I hate when someone makes me feel like they're tossing me aside while they work on their other friendships. I take friendship seriously and want my friends to do the same. It's not a "friend of the week" thing. It shouldn't be, because then it's not friendship, it's just people trying to mark the wall and comparing numbers of people they know. That don't impress me much!

Now let me turn to marriage. I take marriage very seriously, and that's why I'm not married. That's right. I am not married because I think marriage is a serious thing. I don't think it's something that I do to have a big nice party. I don't think it's something that will make me better than anyone else. I think marriage is a very serious commitment and I will not get married until I find the person that deserves to have me give up a few things to be his wife, and hopefully he'd feel the same way about me. I don't need a husband to have kids, I don't need one to give me shelter, or buy me stuff, or be my date when I go to events. I want a friend and a companion and someone I can always count on, in good and bad. That being said, I also want to stay my own person when I'm married and not let the marriage or the husband define who I am. I want to be part of a duo, but maintain some independence.

SOME independence. I can't stand people who are on both ends of the spectrum. There are ones who cannot do anything without their husbands, and I don't want to be around those people. It's OK to be apart for a little bit. That being said, there's also something to be said about people who lead completely independent lives. WHY? Why did you get married? I don't think it's a good quality to ALWAYS make different plans. You're married, show me how that's different from when you were single. Going out and always getting drunk apart, and often crashing drunk at someone else's home, apart, is not something I admire or seek in a marriage. And I can't help it that I don't have respect for those who do!

In other news, my hot ref friend was not there today. I asked the other ref about him, and he told me that he was out of town for work. STUPID WORK!

I had so much time this weekend, that I learned so many lessons

- Promise people you'll water their plants when the forecast shows RAIN. Then say, hey, I stopped by and watered the plants. Hopefully, they don't know it rained.

- I should appreciate my cat more. She doesn't hiss. She doesn't bite. She doesn't even use her claws against anyone. When I give her a treat, she eats it, instead of hissing at me.

- Babysitting is the best birth control.

- Teach some people how to flirt.

- I miss J and B. They were awesome going out mates. The best, hands down. No one cramping no one's style. No one getting in moods and ruining the night. No one driving anyone away. No one choosing boys over girlfriends. And more importantly they weren't sluts and didn't even act like it. I really miss that.

- I miss playing music. I miss French classes. I miss running.

- Back to soccer next weekend. Thankfully!

Maybe it's because of all the beans

I was looking at Dubya talking today, and it finally dawned on me whom he reminds of when he's talking and trying to look like he's thinking deeply. Remember when Joey on Friends said that he used the "fart method" to look like he's in deep thought. When he would talk, he'd stop and make a face like he's smelling a fart, and that would make him look like he's in deep though and he's smart. That's exactly what Dubya looks like when he talks, thinking he would fool us into thinking that he is actually smarter than he really is. Well, he needs to thinks of a smellier fart! A LOT SMELLIER!

Classy people at their finest

Am I overreacting? What do you think about the way I'm handling this?

When I was in college, MP and I were good friends with this girl, who comes from a family that is best characterized as FANATIC Catholic Republicans. Right there you're thinking: "but how can YOU be friends with THEM?" Well, I don't know, but somehow it worked out, and we were friends.

MP and I always noticed that this family has very strange behavior, at least in the way they deal with everyday life. For example, they never ever discussed money, no matter what. They would never tell you what they're paying for rent or how much they paid for a roll of toilet paper or a head of lettuce, because THEY JUST DID NOT DISCUSS MONEY. This was one of MANY odd things about them. So we'll call them the Weirdos.

In college, MP and I were friends with Oldest Weirdo. By friends I mean she selectively hung out with us and selectively invited us to events or parties. But we didn't care, we just went with the flow. Then Middle Weirdo started college and we became better friends with her. I particularly became close friends with her and we hung out all the time and she became one of my closest friends, second to MP, of course. Middle wasn't as weird as Oldest, but still had that "quality." Later, we met Youngest Weirdo, and she was actually a lot more normal.

When Oldest graduated before us from college, she left to work in a nearby big city, and we didn't see her as much anymore, but we still visited her a few times, and tried to keep in touch. Then we completely lost touch with her, and we only got her news through Middle. Oldest moved around and changed jobs, but never bothered to give us her new addresses or emails.

Today, many years later, she's getting married. I ran into her and her fiance, who is a very strange guy, at a sporting event last year and she told me that she was getting married and that I should keep the day free. So I did, and I thought that most likely I wasn't going to be invited. However, when I came back from my trip a couple of days ago, I saw an invitation to her wedding in my stack of mail. I had a problem though, on the envelope it said:

Ms. Kula Lastname + Guest.

I swear it did. I can't even make this up if I wanted to. OK, let's say she's so desperate for space that she can only invite me alone, since I'm not in a committed relationship with anyone. Not that she would know, since she doesn't even keep in touch with me anymore. But if she really wants to invite me alone AND she made the mistake of writing the word "Guest" at first, then maybe she could've used a new envelope and just written my name. OR, she could've kept the word "Guest" and thought: "hey, if she has someone special in her life, she can bring them, if she doesn't, then she can come alone if she wants to." However, none of the options include writing out my name PLUS "Guest" then scratching out the word "Guest." That is of course if you're not a classless hick who does not know a thing about etiquette.

So, initially, I thought that I would go to the wedding alone. Then I thought that this was quite insulting, so: "hell no, I won't go to the wedding." But earlier today, I called MP to see if she was invited to the wedding, and since she's married, of course she gets to bring a guest. After talking to MP, and since we help each other make these kinds of decisions, I decided that I will respond to the invitation and where it has space for the name of the person attending I will indicate that there will be "2" people and write "Ms. Kula Lastname + Guest." Just like that, without even indicating my Guest's name, yet.

I mean, people are free to invite how many ever people they want to their weddings, but considering the number of people who don't come, what difference would ONE person make? And even if you know your friend is single, shouldn't you leave that decision as to whether she will bring someone to the wedding or not to her? When you're 28, I think there are certain things that should not take too much thought to be done the right way, like how to address invitations. But even if you do really want to invite the person alone, and you made a mistake, shouldn't you at least use a new envelope instead of what I received?

The list of questions I have about this situation is endless, but even for the Weirdo family, this was way beyond anything I thought they would ever do. I was shocked! My jaw dropped, and I could not believe that someone who puts on such an act of being a mature adult, would do something like that. Above all, I think I am handling the situation the best way possible, because this will hopefully show her that what she did was ridiculous.

I also expressed to MP the sentiment that I would not be completely surprised if she called me upon receiving my response to say: "I'm sorry, but you can't bring a guest." Of course, in that case, I will just have to say: "well, I am not coming at all then. Have a nice life!"

It just breaks my heart, that I could be treated like this by someone who is "my friend."

Why I am friends with these people!

My friend N and I left the exam, and as we stepped outside bitching about it, a girl who was sitting in the same room as us made some comment and we started walking and chatting with her. She told us that she recently moved here and she's stuck living in a very touristy part of the city, and she misses her girlfriends from back home. N told her that we're having a girls' get together this weekend at N's place, then she invited her to come and hang out with us.